....I've spent the majority of my day packing with several of my dear friends and now our house is in boxes. We don't physically move until May 2, but most everything is in boxes now. We will be living with Stephen's parents for the next month or two while we look for a house. We're still not sure if we're going to buy or lease again this next go around. And the reason that we're moving now, before we actually find a house, is because neither of us were feeling safe in our neighborhood anymore (and it will be good to save a couple of months of rent and bills). It's crazy because the property value in our neighborhood is SO high (like the dirt alone for most small lots on our street costs $200k, $500 if you put a nice house on it). But it's still known for crime. And between: Two car break ins (well, technically 3, but we caught the guy the 2nd time), a drunk frat boy trying to get in our house at 2am, and party's all night long next door, we decided it's time to GO. So pray for our next step, we just want to do what's best for our future and we need God's guidance.
The last few days I've kinda felt gloomy about leaving our first home, the first place we ever lived together and the first place I've felt a sense of ownership over. Have you ever felt that way? I told Stephen it's like I need to subtly grieve the passing of one season and the beginning of the next; this home is very symbolic of that for me. The home feels like an extension of who I am and this home in particular represents so much of what these past two years have meant to me....cooking my first salmon (thanks Jess;), waking up in the morning to my "husband" (I still call him that in morning too...I say, "Hi husband":)), decorating just the way I want (without three other female opinions;), grilling together on the patio, and for the first time in my life having my own matching dishes. And you know the funny thing? I moved in "exactly" two years ago May 1. Isn't that crazy? We've been going month to month for a year now, but it ended up being exactly two years. I took a video of our duplex this morning before we started packing (I'll attempt to post it, but that's never likely;) and just appreciated each little brass door knob, the old mexican tile, and my painted kitchen ceiling.
My friend Kathie put it best last night, "Your undoing your nest."
And as most women probably feel as they undue their nest, I'm just feeling really low, pray for that too if you can. I'm a highly emotional female, so that's part of it, but I'm also letting of a lot of expectations for our future. And I just want to take this time in my life to deepen my trust in God's plan to give me a future and a hope.
And He's never disappointed me. That's all for now, hopefully the next post will be much more colorful ;)~.